Welcome to “Inside the Character Studio” please give a warm welcome to our host; Mr. Jim Brisk!
Thank you… thank you. Today we will press on with our investigation into the mind of Zander Bearach. *static*
We now interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for a special presentation…
Uh…what the hell is going on here?
Welcome to our show.
What show? Who the hell are you? Where did Jim go? What is going on?
This show. I’m yer host, Oliver Clozeoff, and we are gonna get down n dirty, today on…
“Inside the Characters Libido”
Inside the Characters Libido?
There an echo in here?
Oh god….this…this can’t be good.
Today on “Inside the Characters Libido” We’re goin to answer the questions that everyone wants to hear.
We are going to dive through the wet n wild, slip n slide known as yer sexual past.
Whoa, whoa, we are going to do what now?
Buckle up lads n lasses cause things could get a wee bit bumpy!
No…no this is not happening!
Too late mate, there’s no goin back. So settle down, strap in and let’s go for a ride on the wild side.
This is not happening…this…is… not… happening…
Ya can say it all ya like but it is happening, and it is goin to be great so don’t stress out mate.
Stop calling me mate!
Okay, hows about chum? Comrade? Amigo? Fellah?
N-no that is even worse. J-just call me Zander.
Okay, Zander my man, let’s get this show on the road.
*sigh* This is just a bad dream. That’s all, a bad, bad dream
Bad dream? Nah, this is a wet dream, so just go with the flow.
Ah, no! Don’t ever say that again.
You know what! You nasty bastard! That is it, I am not doing this.
Aye, ya are and ya will do it with a smile on yer face. Ya know,… ya act as though you have never…wait… you’re not a…
What?… No!… No!
Okay, then what’s the problem?
What’s the problem?
Yeah. Why are ya so tense? I know, why don’t we take a little break and I will get you a nice “Masseuse” to help “Massage” the tension away.
Wh-what? No! What the hell is wrong with you?
Relax, it was only a joke. Ya need to lighten up some.
I am plenty lightened up.
Oh yeah, then what’s the problem? What do ya have against talking about sex?
I just think…
What is it, lad?
I just think that, well some things should remain private.
That is a nice notion lad.
Aye, it is.
So… I don’t have to do this? We can call it a day?
I didn’t say all that. I said it was a nice notion, but we are still goin to have this little chat.
*sigh* I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this so easily.
It is nothing to be shy about lad…
Shy? I am not shy, I just feel that things like that should be private…
Ya know what I think?
The Nine only know…
I think you are making any excuse ya can to not talk about this because ya are a…
Whoa! Hold it right there. I already told you, that is definitely not the case.
Okay, fine, then tell me about it.
I don’t wanna…
Because isn’t an answer.
You aren’t going to quit, are you?
Not likely, no.
Didn’t think so. Okay, I guess I have no choice…
None whatsoever lad.
Okay, what do you want to know?
Me? No, no, no lad, I don’t wanna know anything.
No lad, yer audience wants to know.
Aye lad, you will be taking questions from the audience on this subject.
I thought ye might like that.
Yer welcome lad. Now let’s get at our first question. *scans audience* ah, you there *points* Lass, the delightful looking Breton with the short brown hair in the third row, do ya have a question for Zander?
Well, yes, sort of. I want to hear about Zander’s first sexual experience.
Bang right out the gate! Can I pick em or can I pick em!
But…that wasn’t even a question. That was more of a statement.
Aye, it was but so what. Get to talking.
I….don’t want to talk about my first time…
What? Why not?
What? Yer gonna have to speak up lad. I can’t hear you.
What? Speak up, lad! The pretty lady wants an answer.
I said…It’s embarrassing!
News flash lad, no ones first time is not embarrassing.
That’s the spirit.
My first time was with Syndahl when we were sixteen years old. We had been seeing one another ever since the night she kissed me four years earlier. We spent all of our free time together, which wasn’t as much as we would have liked with having classes, chores, training and other such things, but we always managed to find time for each other. It was the first day of Rain’s Hand, and we found ourselves having a rare day all to ourselves. I decided to surprise her with a picnic.
I managed to convince the local stable keeper to let me borrow one of the horses he cared for. I was going to take her to a secluded little meadow that was hidden within the Great Forest to the North of Weye. She was so happy when I told her we were going for a picnic. She wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled against my back as we rode. It was just after noon when we arrived and set up the picnic, we laughed and talked for a bit enjoying each others company, I remember I always delighted in seeing her smile.
We were having so much fun that neither of us noticed the clouds growing darker. It didn’t dawn on us until a loud clap of thunder spooked the horse and it ran off. A few moments later the skies opened and it started raining. We would have to walk back home. I held the blanket over our heads as we walked. The rain got heavier and it wasn’t long before I knew we might be lost, but she couldn’t seem happier. It got darker and the rain continued steadily I was getting worried we would be stuck in the rain all night. We were really glad when we stumbled upon a small farm with a barn we could wait out the storm in before trying to get back home.
I managed to light a fire to warm us up but we were drenched from head to toe so we were still cold, wet, and the fire wasn’t really helping us. I remember she shyly suggesting we take our clothes off and hang them so they can dry. We both stripped down to our under linens and hung our clothes. It was the first time we saw each other with so little clothing. I remember how the soft orange light flickering over her bare skin, accenting her every curve in just the right way. My heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to burst through my chest. As I was so enamored with her I didn’t even notice that she was looking at me as well. Our eyes met and she timidly looked away, I took her hand and pulled her close to hold her. We sat by the fire and snuggled with each other getting warm, our bodies pressed closely together.
We kissed passionately, I felt her hands start to wander my body and mine followed her lead. We caressed one another, exploring each others body with gentle touches of our fingers and hands as we kissed. We didn’t know what we were doing, but we knew it felt so very good. Before either of us knew it, we were both naked, and fervently kissing. As the fire died down we stumbled and fumbled around in the darkness of the barn exploring every inch of each others body. Our bodies awkwardly finding a way to meld together until they, or at least mine, expended everything and we found ourselves intertwined as one person. Our bodies craving for each other kept us awake as we gave in to our desires all throughout the night. When we finally fell asleep, it was wrapped in the warmth of each other’s arms.
We woke up the next morning holding one another and smiling until we both realized that we were going to be in a storm of trouble when we got home. We laughed about it as we reluctantly left the warmth of our embrace, to get dressed. We made it out into the now bright sunshine of the mid-morning. We walked hand in hand, with the biggest smiles on our faces, to the nearby farmhouse where the owner was surprised to see us but was more than happy to give us a lift back to Weye. We continued to hold hands and cuddle as we traveled down the Black Road in the back of the farmers’ carriage. When we arrived at Weye my uncle and Syndahl’s mother were waiting for us. They were glad to see us but not so glad as to not punish us for being gone for an entire day.
So,… does that answer your question?
It bloody well should! *stands and claps* That was a hell of a story mate.
That was marvelous, now aren’t cha glad you were able to share that with us?
You know…I kind of am.
Now, ya see, it wasn’t that embarrassing now was it?
Not as much as I thought it would be. It was actually a really nice memory. Thank you.
That’s the spirit lad. Thank ya for sharing. Well, that is all the time we have for now, but I have a feeling we will be seeing ya real soon. Good night everybody, I was your host, Oliver Clozeoff, saying “Be good, if you can’t be good, be naughty but be good at it.” *wink* See you next time on “Inside the Characters Libido!”
Ok, what the hell just happened? Where the heck did you go?
Don’t play stupid with me! You were gone for the entire show!
What do you mean weird? Where did you go?
No time to tell you, the show is ending.
What? Crap, fine but I want some answers off Camera.
I’ll try to explain it but it is all very technical.
All very technical? Are you calling me stupid?
Well not directly but yes.
Why I ought to…
Just end the show, Jim.
Fine… I hope you all will join us again tomorrow when we continue our 28 Days of Character Development where we will take another curious look at Zander, right here on “Inside the Characters Studio”. I am your host Jim Brisk saying, “Keep your friends close and don’t pick their nose.”. Good night everybody!