Where Are My Words?

There are no words for me. I lost them. All of them, gone. I know when I lost them. I lost them almost three months ago. June 15th, 6:42 p.m., to be exact. Since that day, I have no words. They elude me as I stare blankly at the screen. No matter what I do, words fail to form for me. Even this little nothing entry has taken me hours to write today. On that day I lost so much more than just my words. I lost my father. But I had to write something today. I just had to. I had to try to dig those words up and spew them onto the screen no matter how it turned out. Because today is my fathers birthday. Or at least it would have been. Had cancer not stolen him from my family and I, he would have been 61 today.

I wanted so badly to be able to write something nice for him, but I can’t. The words still elude me. The only thing I can even think to say is…

Happy Birthday Dad.

I love you and I miss you.

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ― C.S. Lewis


9 thoughts on “Where Are My Words?

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss! I can’t imagine what you’re going through. But, maybe once your words find you again, you can use them to… to help others realize how exception he was, to convey a part of his story, or even your own because he would want you to. When your words eventually find you again, I hope he’s there with them, giving them even more power. I am sorry, but as somebody who has lost loved ones, I know… the words do come back, and I allow them to be emboldened by that loss and pain. I wish you and your family the best in this difficult time.

  2. You still have words, because these made me tear up. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. If there is anything I can do, let me know. In the meantime, I hope you can bring yourself to start writing again soon. Take care of yourself.

  3. I’m so sorry brother. I’ve lost a family member too, but not my father. I can’t even imagine how much you love and miss him. I don’t have much in brawn or smarts, but I make up for it in goodwill. Using that, I sincerely hope your father is in a much better place. 😇

  4. kaushikananthan

    Pyrelle, I’m deeply sorry for your father’s death. Like before.

    If you’re wondering why I’m talking in past perfect tense, it’s because I know you, and you knew me under a different name.

    Remember Akh’jiradh Kodesh and Eviryn Sathvos? I remember how you were waiting to see my next post. Remember the blogger who wrote stories with those characters with the blog name “khajiitidragon25”?

    I am that very same person.

    I’m really sorry for abandoning my blog without telling you. It was highly selfish of me, but I just want to tell you that I’ve started a new blog at the address I’m currently commenting from. It’s not Skyrim, but it’s a steampunk thriller story that I’m developing.
    I’d really like it if you’d forgive me for abandoning your support and would check out my story and see if you’d like to read more.

    I promise you, I’ll never abandon you again. I just hope you’ll forgive me. 🙂

    1. No worries, things happen real life can be a pain. Glad you are back and writing again. Thank you for your condolences. You honestly have nothing to apologize for, and I will check out your new stories for sure.

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