What if…

I have had this in my head for months now so I figured I should share because as you know sharing is caring. I can feel the outrage at what I am about to say/type bubbling in people as I write this.  Anyway, I have had a simple though bouncing through my head for months and it is simply this, “What if Tiber Septim was a man whore.”, it is funny to think about really but it would also explain something.

Oh, this is gonna be good, let me get some popcorn and some whiskey. Don’t start without me!

Shut up you.

I can feel the typing of the über fanboys getting ready to flame me, but just hear me out first.

Okay, back. Did I miss anything?

I said shut it.

Oh, sorry, please continue.

If Tiber Septim was, in fact, a man whore, not saying he was just what if, and he did indeed bed many, many, many women, how would that impact the state of Skyrim now? Well, it is completely plausible that having sexual relations with many women would also mean he had sex with many different races as well. And having sex with potentially every race there it would explain why the “Dragonborn” could be any race in the Skyrim era of the Elder Scrolls Lore. It would also mean that the “Septim” bloodline is in fact not dead, as the Thalmor think it to be. Hell, it could mean that there is potentially a Septim in every known race on Nirn.

I was right, definitely going to need whiskey for this.


Imagine it, it is possible there is an Altmer who has no idea he/she has Septim blood coursing through them. Granted that blood would be so diluted by now it might not make a bit of difference but my what if is just speculation after all. However, it was not uncommon for kings to have many affairs and illegitimate children and heirs to the throne in real life so why not in Tamriel? As I said this could explain how it is the “Dragonborn” can be any race; it might also mean that potentially you could have more than one “Dragonborn” running around in Tamriel, well aside from Miraak, who if you think about it, might very well be a long-lost cousin of the “Dragonborn”.

Now I know some will say that procreation could never happen between a humanoid and one of the beast races and to that all I can say is, why not? It is, after all, a fantasy realm full of magic and wonderment, where Daedra torment people and Aedra bless people with abilities. Who says Tiber Septim didn’t have a few drunken hookups with an Argonian and/or Kahjiit and the end result was an odd looking child? Though the line would probably have died with them you never know, there are some freaky people out there, and by the time of Skyrim the bloodline would be so thin they just look like normal Argonians and Kahjiits. Unlikely? Yes, but it could very well have happened.

You are one sick, SICK, individual, you know that don’t you?

Shut up…and yes, yes I know…anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.

You might say, well what about the Altmer? They hated Tiber Septim back then as they do now. They would never lay with him. Well, yes, this is true, more than likely not just the Altmer but the other mer races probably had an issue with Tiber Septim, he was after all a conqueror. However, there are other factors, such as gold diggers, or an attraction to power, or the greatest and most probable reason, alcohol. After all, alcohol is probably the leading cause of babies. And how messed up would it be if the Altmer in charge of the Thalmor now were of the Septim bloodline?

You might say, what about the lore that states Tiber Septim only had one son, Pelagius? To which I respond, it also says in the lore that the translation claiming Pelagius to be his only son might be a mistake and instead means Pelagius was his eldest son meaning he had more than one child. It also goes on to say Tiber Septim might have had an affair with the Dunmeri Queen-to-be, Barenziah. The fact is not much is really known about Tiber Septims personal life so “what if” is plausible.

You really think of this…stuff a lot don’t you?

…What’s your point?

Nothing. Never mind. Sorry, do continue.

Yes I know there is no official connection between Tiber Septim and being “Dragonborn”, and it isn’t supposed to be something genetic but on the same note is there something official that says there is not a connection or a genetic marker of some sort? The Elder Scrolls lore is an ever-evolving thing, and can and has changed many times over the years. So, to steal a quote from Elspeth who got it from a great artist, “Well, TES lore is a big wibbly-wobbly Lorey-worey thing.“-Memai.

In conclusion, I am not saying this happened in lore, so no angry fanboy bitching and moaning, please. All I am saying is, what if it did happen. What if one night he had a drunken orgy with every race of women known to Nirn, spreading his seed and all but guaranteeing his bloodlines survival? Again not saying it did happen but it could have. 

And that is just a portion of what has been running through my head for months now.

You need help man.

I know…Anyway, I am glad to have shared that with everyone.

Well, we aren’t!

Shut it you! You don’t know. They may have enjoyed my ramblings.

I doubt it. I think you need some meds or something.

That’s it!

What? Don’t look at me like that…You are scaring me…Put the chair down…AHHHHHHHHHHH!

Yeah, you better run!

Anyway, as always, I look forward to your questions, comments, and feedback. Till next time, this has been an Epic Failure production.


8 thoughts on “What if…

    1. Makes you wonder how many Septims are out there…No wonder the Thalmor hate Talos so much. They don’t know if they should call him daddy or not.

      1. heheh…. And to sum it all up, the entirety of the Skyrim Civil War was the result of the kids fighting over their Daddy issues.

        That makes so much sense.

  1. Haha, TES science. *patpat* Okay, Pyrelle, step AWAY from the Kool-Aid.

    Seriously though, I think that’d be pretty cool. Man whore gods-to-be are always fun.

    Been debating whether to make Zahra have a teensy bit of Septim blood (probably the affair wasn’t that far back, but look at me I know stuff about genetics no really that was a total lie) or just going the usual route of a whole new gift of the dovahsos. I kind of like the idea that Zahra was literally not born a hero, tho.

    Were you thinking of slipping in a nod to your what-if? That would be amazing. I love little things like that. I slipped in Meridibella, after all. Which started out as a product of a sleep-deprived mind, but /I/ think I managed with the end product.

    1. Wait, wait, wait….there is Kool-Aid? I want some Kool-Aid, is it Cherry? I like Cherry.

      I will and will not be adding a nod to my what if into Zander. I hope that clears that up…Now about that Kool-Aid, will there be cookies too?

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