Inside the Characters Studio (Day 23)

Welcome to “Inside the Character Studio” please give a warm welcome to our host; Oliver Clozeoff!

(APPLAUSE!)

Ladies and gentlemen please, would yah bring yer attention to me. Welcome to tha show, please come inside! Today we will continue our fascinating look into tha life and mind of Zander Bearach, on: “Inside the Characters Studio”. I am your host Oliver Clozeoff, with only 6 days left of our show lets not waste any time and get right to it!

Six days! Woo!

Yah seem tah get happier and happier the closer we are tah finishing the challenge lad.

Uh yeah. DUH!

Well it is good tah see yah smiling. I do apologize for yesterday with Jim though, I have been assured it won’t happen again.

Jim who?

Jim Brisk lad.

Oh, the crazy guy that went bat shit nuts after his question. No worries.

*laughs* Okay then boyo, let’s get started.

It’s your show.

Now Zander mi’boy, earlier today we had yah fill out an online questionnaire, but didn’t let yah see the results. Are yah curious tah find out?

Nope. Not really.

No? Why not lad?

I don’t really need a label to know who I am. “I am what I am and that is all that I am!” so sayeth the great prophet Popeye the sailor man…toot-toot!

*snicker* That is a good way tah look at things but lets just see what the results from tha online questionnaire says and see if yah agree with it or not.

Okay.

Let’s see here. It says here that, Based on yer answers to tha quiz, yer most likely alignment is Neutral.

MMMkay…

Don’t yah wanna know what that means?

I know the definition of Neutral, thanks.

It is not a definition thing lad, It is more along the lines of what yer mental state is when yah make decisions.

Okay, so?

So yah really don’t wanna know?

*sigh* You just want to read what that thing says about me, don‘t you?

Aye, guilty as charged.

You know your geek is showing.

I know…

Fine go ahead and read it.

Thank yah lad.

Neutral:

A neutral character does what seems tah be a good idea. He or she doesn’t feel strongly one way or tha other when it comes tah good vs. evil or law vs. chaos. Most neutrality is ah lack of conviction or bias rather than ah commitment tah neutrality. Such ah person thinks of good as better than evil. After all, they would rather have good neighbors and rulers than evil ones. Still, they are not personally committed to upholding good in any abstract or universal way. Some neutral characters, on tha other hand, commit themselves philosophically to neutrality. They see good, evil, law, and chaos as prejudices and dangerous extremes. They advocate the middle way of neutrality as the best, most balanced road in the long run. The common phrase for neutral is “true neutral.” Neutral is the best alignment yah can be because it means you act naturally, without prejudice or compulsion.

–excerpted from tha

Player’s Handbook, Chapter 6

 

So basically it is saying I don’t care. Well that’s a crock of shit!

So…yah don’t agree?

Do I agree that I don’t care? Yes I don’t agree. Why would I agree with that? it’s a horrible thing to accuse me of.

Well lad, I have tah say I don’t agree or disagree with tha quiz. Yah are neutral tah some extent on a lot of things but I also know yah have yer convictions. Yah just have tah remember it is a online quiz meant fer fun. If yah like yah can take it again later.

Fine. Whatever.

See…neutral.

Shut up!

Not neutral.

*grumble*

Well, if anyone in our audience would like tah take the same quiz Zander did yah can find it at: http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/dnd/20001222b

Now lets move on and get some audience questions answered shall we?

Sure.

Let’s see. Hows about the gentleman in tha “I ate it for Alchemical purposes I swear!” T-shirt. Yah have a question fer Zander?

Yes, what do you think are some of your best anger management or temper-controlling skills?

Fair question. Breathing. Controlling your breath, can slow down your heart rate and your thought process. I use breath control to keep a clear head and a clear head is one that can’t be clouded by anger. Thank you for your question.

I hope that answers yer question sir. We have time for more questions.

Okay than let’s get to it.

Okay, hows about the lass with the “All your souls are belong to me!” shirt on. What is yer question lass?

I would like to know, is there anything you do, that you prefer to do alone?

Masturbate!

ZANDER!

*laughs*

Lad stop trying to make tha lass blush and answer her question.

Okay, I tend to prefer to be alone with my thoughts when I have a lot on my mind. Does that count?

Aye lad that counts. Thank yah lass fer yer question. Unfortunately that is all the time we have fer today. I hope yah will join us again tomorrow when we carry on with our final days of the 28 Days of Character Development, where we will have another good time with Zander, right here on “Inside the Characters Studio”. I am yer host Oliver Clozeoff saying, “Be good, if yah can’t be good, be naughty, but be good at it.” Good night everybody!

Only five more days left and I could still use some questions for Zander, so please, don’t hesitate to ask. If you are shy you can use the form below to send me questions or if you are not shy you can just ask them in the comments section of the blog along with any comments you might have. Thanks again all. See you for the next installment.

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About Pyrelle

I am married to a wonderful woman. I enjoy video games and have been playing MMO and RPG based games for over 14 years. I enjoy writing and drawing, never considered myself good at it either. Dispite having a degree in graphic design I have never used it.
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7 Responses to Inside the Characters Studio (Day 23)

  1. This is exactly what I needed after my horrendous experience trying to determine Elspeth’s alignment.

    Zander’s alignment may or may not be accurate. I couldn’t say, since the system makes no sense to me. It used to make sense to me, when people were assigning alignments to my beloved fictional characters–but now it’s just gibberish.

    In. Any. Case. The best part of was the “masterbation” line. I was not expecting it and I felt like I could hear Zander say it. Hilarious.

    • Pyrelle says:

      He knows how to cut the tension in a room with a chainsaw that’s for sure. As for the alignment, it is just one of those things that is open for interpretation. someone could argue that Zander is chaotic good others might say something else it is all in your perspective.

  2. So when Zander’s alone with his thoughts, does he use his left hand or his right hand? Mua ha ha ha ha.

    I really hated that alignment quiz. The way the questions and answers are worded just grates on me. And the fact that Selene HAS no family really screws up the first section.

  3. kitdoctor says:

    I had similar thoughts when I took the quiz for Grawnk, but all in all, it was still a fun exercise.

    • Pyrelle says:

      Doing ones alignment in DnD is always a daunting task the first time you do it. It gets easier for every character once you learn that the alignment definitions are just a guide. =)

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