I know this is late again but not by a lot this time so progress is being made. Anyway I hope you all enjoy the show tonight. Let’s see what kind of hard hitting journalism is going on now.
Welcome to “Inside the Character Studio” please give a warm welcome to our host; Mr. Jim Brisk!
Thank you… thank you. We experienced some…technical difficulties with our last show and I have been assured that we are all set and ready to continue to spelunk through the mind of Zander Bearach.
Spelunking through my mind? Who are you? Batman?
I am going to ignore that, and we will continue on with the show.
For the last week we have taken an expedition through the thoughts and life of our subject, Zander. We have uncovered some of his past and today we will continue on by uncovering his deepest secrets, today on “Inside the Characters Studio”.
Wh-what was that now?
What is your deepest secret.
… I don’t have any. Next topic.
I think not, everyone has a secret.
Okay, you caught me. I stole a pie from the bakery when I was nine. *wipes forehead* whew, what a load off. Good job Jim, I feel so much better. We can move onto the next subject.
Somehow I feel you are not being completely honest with us.
Me? Not honest? Now why would I lie?
To avoid the subject. Something you have skillfully managed to accomplish in past episodes.
I am insulted sir.
Be insulted all you like Zander just stop trying to avoid the subject.
I did no such thing I answered you. I stole a pie.
I doubt that very seriously.
Okay, you got me again. I didn’t steal a pie.
I thought so.
It was a cake. You really are good at this.
Oh come now you honestly want us to believe that?
But it’s true.
Sure it is.
Well it is…it’s just not about me that’s all.
I knew it. Stop stalling and tell us your deepest secret.
But, then it wouldn’t be a secret now would it.
Yeah, stop just stop. You will tell us your secret, this is not up for debate.
You’re no fun.
I am plenty of fun but you won’t be denying your audience an answer to this.
But if I told you my secrets I would be forced to kill you.
Oh, and why is that.
I am a secret agent.
Is that so. For some reason I don’t believe you.
Well it is true. I am a secret agent!
No you’re not.
I could be…
No you couldn’t.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I am pretty sure.
How do you know?
Besides you being a moron? Well, you are not that disciplined.
Maybe it is all a part of my cover?
If it was you would never have told me.
You would think that. Maybe I told you because I knew you wouldn’t believe me.
And you would tell me that last part why?
To further throw you off.
See it has worked.
No it hasn’t.
Crap! Okay fine I am not a secret agent.
Duh! The question still remains, what is your deepest secret.
If you must know.
I once killed a man with a repair hammer and a pair of smithing tongs.
What do you mean maybe?
I mean maybe I did or maybe I made that up. Believe it or don’t your call.
You didn’t kill a man did you?
You are being really difficult about this.
Okay the truth is, my deepest secret is…
I am secretly a Kahjiit ….*laughs*
Okay so that was a lie. What is the truth?
I am addicted to Skooma.
*sigh*No, you’re not.
Okay, okay, I‘m not, but I am secretly a necromancer bent on world domination.
Stop messing around and just tell us the truth.
Okay, got me. So smart this one. I am secretly jealous of the musical abilities of bards.
…You are lying again aren’t you?
Got me again.
Just tell us!
Okay fine. I am a spy for the Thalmor.
You can’t stop lying can you?
Okay, okay. …When I was nineteen I murdered my uncle in our book store for no reason.
Right, you expect us to believe you murdered the only family you had. Sure.
…You’re right, I was lying, the truth is when I was nineteen I caught Syndahl fucking some Altmer.
Gah, just tell us the damn truth about your deepest secret!
…Got me again. You are good at this. Okay for real this time. My uncle was a member of a secret sect of the Blades and he began training me to join them when I turned Thirteen.
The secret agent thing again? Ha,…ha,…ha…very funny. That is such a blatant lie. Why can’t you just tell us the truth?
… You’re right, but news flash, secrets are supposed to be secret genius.
You are so very frustrating!
What did you expect, for me to just blurt out my darkest secret as if it were common knowledge?
I expected you to not be a complete ass about it, man up and let everyone in.
Really? You are going after my manhood?
Yes. Because instead or acting like a man you are acting like a child and being a complete jack ass.
I am a jack ass because I want to keep my secrets a secret?
Yes! I mean no…you are a jack ass because you are avoiding the question.
Do you know how stupid you sound?
I do not sound stupid, and stupid is a bad word!
What are you 5? Whatever…
You really won’t tell us your secret will you?
Well …. Ummm….Okay fine, be that way, I will just ask Pyrelle!
Good luck with that.
What do you mean. He is your creator he knows all your secrets.
He does, but he won’t tell them to you.
What? Why not?
He signed a non disclosure agreement.
What the hell…
Yep, so you and your little show are screwed, and I am done talking to you for the day.
You can’t just leave!
You are violating your contract!
What are you going to do, sue me? Kiss my ass Jim!
But….well… ummm… *grumble* I guess that is all the time we have for tonight. I hope you will join us again tomorrow when we continue our 28 Days of Character Development where we will take another prying look into the life of Zander, right here on “Inside the Characters Studio”. I am you host Jim Brisk saying, “Keep your friends close and don’t pick their nose.”. Good night every body!
Or don’t…I don’t care anymore…I can’t work like this…he is impossible! I need a new job…Someone get my agent on the line!
Wow, what a show! I hope you all enjoyed the show. At the risk of sounding like a broken record I still need questions folks so please don’t hesitate to ask. If you are shy you can use the form below to send me questions or if you are not shy you can just ask them in the comments section of the blog along with any comments you might have. Thanks again all. See you for the next installment.