Inside the Character Studio (Day 1?)

Hey everyone, I am sorry this took me so long to get out. It was a tad bit more complicated than I had originally thought it would be. With any luck I will have another post out for today that way I won’t be falling behind anyone else in the challenges. Enjoy.

Welcome to “Inside the Character Studio” please give a warm welcome to our host; Mr. Jim Brisk!

(applause)

Thank you… thank you. Our subject for today is a tad different, he is neither a celebrity of Tamriel or even that well-known. But for those that know him, know him to be a simple man, of simple means. Today we are going to embark on a voyage through the life and mind of one of Skyrims newest and some might say, I wouldn’t mind you but some would say, interesting immigrants…

I hate you Py!

What? No my friend, my name is Jim Brisk. You must have me confused with someone else…

Wh-what? No you’re not you’re…

Shut it I am in Character!

Fine whatever…

Please put your hands together and welcome Zander!

*sigh* It is a pleasure to be here…I guess.

Zander….you don’t mind me calling you Zander do you?

W-What? Why wouldn’t you call me Zander? My name is Zander. What the hell else would you call me? Martin?

Right, so Zander as you know from watching the show, the first thing I would like to do is to ask you 10 questions. Then we will follow-up with some general Biography. Then we will do some audience questions for you to answer. How does that sound to you?

10 questions? What is this a quiz? Am I being graded? What happens if I fail?

Nothing like that, these are just my 10 questions. I ask every celebrity these questions when we do this show.

So what you are saying is …not a quiz?

No, Not a quiz……moron….

What?

Nothing, lets continue with the 10 questions shall we?

Uh, sure…

What is your favorite word?

That is a tough one. If I had to choose just one word, I think I would have to say my favorite word would have to be ….. wait for it………..

TITTY!!!

I really should have seen that coming.

Yes…yes you probably should have.

Let’s….just continue shall we…What is your least favorite word?

That one is a bit easier. My least favorite word is definitely, Thalmor.

What turns you on?

T-That’s kind of personal don’t you think?

Yes…yes I do, but please answer the question.

Fine if you must know. I firmly believe a sensual kiss from a beautiful woman can get any man going.

What turns you off?

Plenty.

Like what? Give us an example.

Do I have to?

Yes.

Okay, well bad hygiene for starters. Too much hair, and I don’t mean on her head.

You mean…

Yeah, having hair on a woman’s legs, under arms or facial hair other than eye brows, emphasis on the plural there, is just …eww.

*laughs*

What?

I thought you were talking about down under.

Under? Under Where? …..OH! Well that area has to be neat too, no one likes hair in their food.

What sound or noise do you love?

No sense in being shy now I guess.

Shy? You just screamed Titty! How is that being shy?

Some things are just private, that is all I am saying.

For the love of…just answer the question, we all know you are not shy!

Well I could be you don’t know, but if I must have an answer. The soft moans a woman makes when you nibble her neck.

What sound or noise do you hate?

That is a tie.

A tie?

Yep.

Between what?

Snoring, and every bard I have met who has graduated from the bard college. Not a single one of them can hold a note to save their lives.

What is your favorite curse word?

Fuck.

What a surprise.

What? It is a great curse word.

How so?

It is so very versatile, you can use it for any situation. You can even use it to pick up the ladies. Though the woman who it works on I don’t think you would want to be with anyway.

Fair enough.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I have a profession? Since when?

Well aren’t you a blacksmith?

No, I am a student learning to be a blacksmith. But I guess if I had to do something else I would say Bartender.

A Bartender? Really? Why?

Think about it. You are around people all day, you get to hear all the juicy gossip. See people do stupid things. Everyone knows you and likes you because you supply the spirits. And if you are lucky, at the end of the night you might get to take a cute drunk girl to bed.

What profession would you not like to do?

Poopsmith, it is quite literally a shitty job. What kind of fresh hell did you crawl out of to want that job?

If the heavens exist, what would you like to hear the Gods say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

You mean like I die and all 9 divines are there to great me, individually??

Uh….sure lets go with that. What would you like to hear them say?

Akatosh would be forced to meet every mortal and apologize for the Thalmor, he would probably say something like, ”Yeah, sorry for the Thalmor, my bad. Who knew using day old ingredients could go so horribly wrong when creating a race?” and Talos, he would tell me to pull up a seat and join him for some ale and watch Dibella dance. While Julianos and Zenithar would ask if I might have seen the Dwemer saying they turned their backs on them for only a moment and then they were just gone. The rest would just smile and welcome me home.

O…Kay…. Moving on. Lets move on to some General Biography.

I hate Biography, I never know which way is north on the compass.

…Biography not Geography…..

Oh….I knew that.

Sure you did. Now lets get this General Biography filled out shall we?

Sure why not. *looks at the list* What the hell?

What?

Have you seen how long this is?

Yes, so?

So, I am going to be here all night filling this out.

So?

So, why do you need all of this information? Am I filing for a home loan? Selling my first born to a Daedra?

What? No, people are just curious. Just fill it out so we can move on.

Screw you Jim Brisk…if that is your real name!

I said fill it out!

Gah, fine, but I am doing this for the people not cause you have that angry I am going to make your life miserable look…

Full Name: Zander Bearach

Race: Imperial

Date of Birth: I am a “Witches Festival” baby. I was born on the 13th of Frostfall 4E 174

Age: I am in my Twenty-seventh season of life.

City or town of birth: I was born while in a caravan of fleeing civilians from the Imperial City after the Aldmeri Dominion sacked the city. I was born south of Bruma in a very small little farming village.

Languages spoken: Cyrodiilic

Job/work: Err….student? Apprentice Blacksmith to be more accurate.

Factions: I am a card carrying member of the “Brew of the Month Club” other than that I got nothing…

Skills: Does running away count? Chew toy for wolves? Bandit bait?

Current Residence: You’re not planning to send me junk mail are you, cause if you are you can send it to Clan Battle-Born house, care of Idolaf Battle-Born, Whiterun….

Height: 6’2”

Face: I have one yes…

Figure/build: Not too big not too small, do these pants make my ass look big?

Hairstyle and color: Right now I have short dark brown hair but I cut it all off before I left for Skyrim. Who knows maybe I will grow it back one day.

Eye color: Yes they are….A lovely shade of blue. Almost a silver blue.

Skin color: Lightly toasted…

Tattoos: I thought about it but it looks really painful and well I prefer not to be in pain…

Scars:  ….I don’t want to talk about those…

Piercings: What am I a pirate?

Preferred style of clothing: None? Is that an option? Whatever covers my shame…

Personality: I don’t own one of those do I? I do? Since when? I like to think I am a fun guy. Maybe a bit shy and reserved. …What? Why are you laughing?

Likes: I am fond of good music, when bards aren’t  butchering songs. A nice mug of frothy ale is good too, especially in the company of a pretty woman. Spending time with friends.

Dislikes:  Thalmor, rabid animal attacks, Thalmor, attacks from random maniac bandits, Thalmor, stupid people piss me off, Thalmor, the majority of the Battle-Born clan, Thalmor, bad body odor, Thalmor, THALMOR….did I mention the Thalmor? Spam, spam, spam, I don’t like spam, Thalmor…and Thalmor

Fears/phobias: …W-why do you want to know? W-What have you heard? Are you planning something against me?…They will never take me alive!!!!

Parents: I had two of them. They are gone now….lets move on….

Siblings: Not that I know of….why? Have you heard something?

Significant other/s: N-no…let’s…let’s just not go there….

Friends/Acquaintances: Yes please, where do I sign up for friends? I suppose I consider Jon Battle-Born a friend now whether or not he thinks of me that way you would have to ask him, There is Alvor but he was more my teacher than anything else. I helped Faendal out some but I don’t think he likes me….

I finished! Wooooooo….what do I win?

Nothing.

What?!?

It wasn’t a contest. It was so your audience could get to know you better so they can ask some questions.

Wait…I have to answer questions now?

No.

Oh, thank the Nine!

That comes tomorrow.

Good…Wait what?

Yes, tomorrow we continue with Inside the Characters Studio. Where we will take some questions from the audience, as well as continue on with the prompts provided to us for the 28 days of Character Development challenge.

28 days? What kind of fresh hell have you put me in Py?

Jim Brisk.

Whatever….screw you…

See you tomorrow folks and be sure to send your questions so we can get them answered.

Please use the following form to send me any and all questions you have for Zander, and I will make sure he answers them. Or leave them in the comments section below the form if you are not shy. I hope you all enjoyed the show and tune in for more.

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About Pyrelle

I am married to a wonderful woman. I enjoy video games and have been playing MMO and RPG based games for over 14 years. I enjoy writing and drawing, never considered myself good at it either. Dispite having a degree in graphic design I have never used it.
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8 Responses to Inside the Character Studio (Day 1?)

  1. I laughed so very hard.

  2. adantur says:

    Haha very good, Zander certainly is a bit of a “character”.

    I see he dodged a couple of questions though, perhaps we can delve a little deeper in those sorts of areas….

  3. kitdoctor says:

    That was very creative, and worth the wait. I am thoroughly looking forward to finding out more about one of Skyrim’s most colorful inhabitants.

  4. Lulzy says:

    Oh dear, you made me cry from laughing. Remind me not to be drink soda when I read your stuff, it’s so very hard to get out of the keyboard…

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