T.G.I.Fredas…or not

Fredas, 22nd of Last Seed, 4E

I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamt I was some sort of hero going around fighting the good fight and fixing the problems of the people I meet. It was horrible, just horrible; I hope I didn’t somehow catch the nightmare bug that seems to be going around town. I know I have been here a while and all but I’m no member of this town, anymore than those two giants are cheese farmers. I lay in bed for a little bit longer, my whole body is sore and stiff, I just do not want to get out of warm bed. My stomach has other thoughts on that matter.

I reluctantly get motivated to get up and head to the bar to order some breakfast. Before I can even order people keep asking if I am feeling well. I just nod, its just soreness for crying out loud. I make my way through the crowd of people Karita has around her, apparently she has a following now or something, there is no accounting for taste. Getting to the counter the battle ax of a alchemist is sitting there and she tells me I look sick and hopes its not contagious. I just glare at her as she leave the Inn. Do I really look that bad?

I had planned on going hunting today, but maybe I should stop by her shop and see if she has something to help, I am feeling really stiff for some reason. I sit down at the bar and eat my breakfast; two baked potato skins and some water, breakfast of cheap people. I listen to Karita, is it me or is she actually getting better? Dear gods I am sick! My ears are betraying me! This is worse than I feared I should head to the alchemist right away.

I wrap my cloak around me and head out to the alchemists shop, I hope that old buzzard doesn’t try to take advantage of the situation. Who am I kidding she hates me, I know it, she knows it, and she knows I know it, you know?

I leave the tavern and Skyrim welcomes me with a nice refreshing change of pace, it looks like it will be a nice day today. I make my way down the road the passing guards make note of how ill I look. Like I wasn’t aware of this little fact by now but thanks for the update.

It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

I get down to the Iron-Breaker Mine and the weather changes, just a little more snowy nothing dreadfully bad. Hopefully The Mortar and Pestle will have the cure to what is making me sick, if not I will just have to tough it out. I walk past some guards who again remind me I am ill, there as bad as a bard who only knows one song, at least Karita knows two.

It doesn’t matter if you have a cold, the flu, frostbite or a bad case of “Mudcrabs”, come on down to The Mortar and Pestel, where we got the cure for whatever you need!

I walk into the Mortar and Pestle and am greeted by the old bat…err I mean the lovely Frida. Do you think she over heard me? What am I saying she can’t hear my thoughts.

I explain to her my symptoms and she nods and tells me I have rock joint, it’s a disease that is contracted from wolves and other animals. I explain I had killed some wolves yesturday but I can tell she doesn’t care, she just nods and says it is none of her concern what I do in my spare time. What the hell is she implying…ooohhh…ew she really is a dirty old crone. I inquire as to the cure, she has plenty, and I know why, no one could afford one!

She wants over four hundred gold closer to five hundred for one cure, where the hell am I going to get that amount of gold? She reminds me that she needs a ring recovered. Nice try old lady I am not your errand boy!

For the last time I don’t care how long you have been lonely! No means No!

I step away from the counter to contemplate my next move. I can’t afford that price. There is no way in Oblivion I could even come close to that amount of money. I wonder if I could make my own, but its not like she will teach me, she does hate me after all. I wonder if I asked really nicely if she would let me user her alchemy table.

I ask Frida to use her table she tells me I can try, like I am a moron or something. I hope I don’t accidentally blow her shop up. I look through my bag and pull out the few ingredients I have managed to collect; unfortunately only two of them have like abilities, so I am able to make some resist poison but nothing else. I wonder if she has some cheap ingredients I can buy, I know I shouldn’t give the ancient spirit of evil any of my business btu hey maybe I’ll get lucky. Knowing my luck though I doubt it, but it couldn’t hurtto give it a shot.

Checking her shelves I notice she has some ingredients that are only a gold a piece. I hope I find some things that cure disease. I buy three different ingredients and take a taste from each. No wonder they were almost free, I feel sicker than I did when I came in here, just peachy. I am not about to spend any more money in this woman’s shop. I find a nice place to sit while the effects of those ingredients wear off.

I can see why Alchemy is such an expensive trade; you take your life into your hands anytime you test an ingredient; I can’t say I will be doing that again anytime soon, though I did manage to turn a large profit on those potions I did make. Perhaps I could be an alchemist; I dunno but its an official option now.

The effects finally wear off. No need to stay here any longer than need be. She can put on that innocent nice old lady act all she wants but I remember how she was oh I remember. I give Frida the evil eye as I walk out of her shop.

I walk down the road to my good old buddy Rustliefs’ shop, I have a bit of gold I can afford a pickax of my very own now, and if I remember right there were some nice chunks of rock that I could mine not too far from the town. I could make some extra coin, extra coin couldn’t hurt.

I make my way out of town, I glance at the carriage as I leave. Maybe I should reconsider my stance on leaving the town by carriage considering my health status. I shall contemplate on that while I mine some.

Twenty-four hour carriage services. He seems lonely…and cold…

I walk down the road a bit and come upon the first spot I noticed the other day, it is close to the road so if something happens I can get back to town quickly. Time to break in my new pick ax. I make short work of the small rock. There wasn’t a lot of ore but every little bit helps. I hope the other spot yeilds better amounts.

As I head to the shore line I notice the weather is being very odd today. It will start to get bad and throw wild flurries of snow at me then it will get nice and semi-clear. Its like Skyrim is torn on whether to make my life a living hell or just a mild annoyance.

I keep going and I see someone walking his horse, I go to greet him but he turns and walks away, well so much for being nice. I manage to find some random items left by someone, score more iron arrows.

As I head back to the other mining spot I notice something laying in the snow. What is it, I can barely tell what it is. As I get closer I realize it’s a troll, a huge ass troll. It appears to be dead in the snow but for all I know it is feigning dead waiting to spring up and kill me. I crouch down and slowly inch my way closer to it.

Sneaking up on dead things. It’s harder work than you think.

I get near the troll and poke it with my dagger just to make sure it is dead. Granted if it was still alive at this point I think I would just be a Zander sized stain in the snow. This leaves me to wonder what the hell killed a troll and where is it so I can avoid it.

Psst…you alive? No? I’m just gonna harvest some fat, not that I am saying your fat or nothin….

Waste not want not, I take my dagger out and try to skin it and butcher some meat from to trolls corpse. Unfortunately the only thing I get is some of its fat, I am really bad at this skinning and butchering thing. I can probably use this fat for something I just don’t know what. Fuel for a fire is my first thought. I look around and realize this isn’t too far from the Giants and the Mammoth I saw the other day, I bet that’s who killed this troll. I best high tail it out of here before they come back.

I find my mining spot and dig in with my pick ax. I am feeling pretty good about how the day is turning out so far. I finish mining the ore from the ground and my joints are feeling better, maybe a tiny bit sore and stiff and cold but other than that I feel fine. Maybe rock joint isn’t all that much to worry about.

Judging from the suns position in the sky I can tell it is almost noon, I should head back to town and get some lunch and maybe stop at Rustliefs’ again and sell the stuff I found. Yeah that’s a plan, Ill do that.

I make it back to town and the guards again remind me that I am sick. Aren’t you guys just the best investigators in the world….jerks. I make it back to the Windpeak Inn and Karita tells me she is the best Bard in Dawnstar, that’s not saying much now is it? I sit down to eat my lunch and Karita starts singing, there goes my appetite, thanks Karita I wasn’t looking forward to my lunch not at all.

I head to my room to get changed into something a little more sturdy, I figure I still have time; I can go out and hunt some or try to at least. Ill hold onto this ore and the other stuff I found earlier for now and sell it later. I don’t really have a plan but it won’t kill me to venture out a little more, then again I could totally be wrong about that. I have no choice it must be done, besides my other option is to sit around here and listen to Karita sing; I would rather eat my own sword, so hunting it is.

I head out of town and into the frozen wastelands that surround Dawnstar, time to hunt.

Let the hunt begin…wait where are all the animals?

I wander around a bit; before I know it I am at the abandoned campsite I found the other day. I notice the horses I saw yesturday, I wonder if I could get close enough if I could ride one. I try to sneak up on the herd and before I can even get close enough they take off. Well I guess that idea is out, oh well back to hunting.

Don’t worry horsie, I don’t wanna hurt you I just wanna ride you….Hey where are you going, slow down so I can jump on your back!

I leave the warmth of the camp and make my way over the hill, I see some goats, excellent I should be able to get a nice fresh kill. I hide as best as I can and draw my bow, taking aim and I let loose my arrow, I watch as it flies through the snow filled air aaannddd I missed… and they took off. I try chasing after them but they are gone before I can even draw another arrow. I’ll get them next time, pick up the arrow that I missed with and continue to look for some sort of tracks.

Making my way over another hill I notice a deer, a bigger target. No way I should miss this time.

Be vewy vewy quiet I’m hunting deer.

I creep closer to it and draw my arrow, locking onto the deer and letting the arrow fly. A hit! What the…it didn’t die, I quickly take pursuit, but no luck its gone. Why must everything be so damn fast? I am the worst hunter ever.

At this point I feel a tad bit frustrated and I am getting slightly annoyed. I look around to get my barings and I realize I am not far from Dawnstar, in fact I think I have gone in a giant circle. Stupid snow making it seem like I am miles away from town. I follow the road a bit and I am not really paying attention, when I hear a wolf, I not only hear it I feel it as it sinks its teeth into my rear! I turn quickly and engage the hound, rump of Zander is so not on the menu! I dispatch the wolf with more ease than I previously had but it managed to make me feel like a chew toy in the process.

I continue to take the road and I notice a dead goat; it isn’t far from where the wolf was I guess the wolf had dinner and I was supposed to be dessert.  I manage to skin the goat and gather some salmon from its innards. I had no idea goats knew how to fish.

Continuing down the path a bit I see two people in the distance. I can’t really tell what they are doing. A closer look is needed, I slowly make my way to their position. They seem to be hunters, they look to be skinning dead animals. I get closer and to my delight it is two scantily clad women, best surprise ever.

I got out hunted by two women wearing what can only be described as bath robes, yet I am ok with this.

I talk to one of them and find out they are Vigilants of Stendarr. She also mentions how sick I look. You know if you weren’t so cute I would have a snarky retort. She offers to cure me, I accept, momma didn’t raise no fool.

Is it cold out here? It is? I couldn’t tell from looking at you.

She cures me and I feel really good, a bit cold but that’s it; my joints are no longer stiff and I am not sore, this is the best thing to happen today. She starts talking about how Daedra can’t hide from the Vigilants of Stendarr and how they will hunt Daedra where ever they are.

This is great, cause the people of Dawnstar could use…hey wait where are you going? You’re just going to leave then? Dawnstar is plagued by Daedric nightmares and you’re just walking away? Wow, just…wow…since you’re leaving I am just going to skin and butcher from theses dead animals you didn’t want. Just keep walking if you’re ok with that. Ok, thanks!

The wind is picking up again, and I am getting real cold so I think it is time to head back to town. The trip back to town gives me time to think. I have come to the realization that I suck at hunting. The only reason I got anything is because I look like a chew toy and because I scavenged what I could from other peoples kills. I have got to be doing something wrong. Maybe I was just meant for manual labor like mining or chopping wood, even though I have not technically chopped wood yet I bet I am good at it. I mean if Abelone can do it, I could right?

You chop all the wood you can now because tomorrow I take your job!

I pass up the Inn and head to Beitild to sell her the iron I managed to collect, she seemed happy to see me even more happy to pay me for the Ore I had, she is an odd one for sure. No time for idle chit chat it is getting colder and I need to head to Rustliefs’ shop. As I walk to Rustliefs’ the guards make note of my armor, apparently I look like a mercenary in this stuff, which is fine by me maybe I’ll get better prices from merchants if they think I am going to kill them, probably not.

It wasn’t me officer, I sware!

I make it to Rustliefs and turn my goat hide into some leather. My parts list for making a camping set is getting shorter, this is good, the problem is it is taking way too long.  At least I know I have a warm bed here as long as I can afford it, though my income is starting to dwindle. Oh well, I will figure it out more tomorrow but for now it’s time to head back to the Inn.

I head back to the Windpeak Inn and sit at the bar, just in time for another of Karitas’ famous concerts, joy…Thoring I need ale and I need it now! Thoring hands me an over priced ale and I chug it down, at least being tipsy I can tolerate her singing.

One ale please tar bender!

I buy some dinner and head to my room to eat and relax, well as much as a person can relax with a full blown bard concert going on outside his door.

I speak to Thoring again about renting my room and again he shows me to the room. I don’t know why he insists on escorting me the whole 15 feet to the room every time, wait I know why, he is trying to get away from the singing if even for a brief moment. Poor guy, it must be hard listening to her sing all day and all night. I would be more torn up about it if it were not for the fact that he has been charging me an arm and a leg for anything I need, you made your bed now you lay in it Thoring!

Speaking of bed even though it is early still, I think I will turn in for the night. Maybe getting an earlier start tomorrow will lead to something better. At least I don’t have to worry about rock joint anymore, I’ll take that minor victory.

Good night Skyrim, and good night you elusive damn animals, you will be mine, oh yes, you will be mine….DAMN IT SHUT UP KARITA!!!!

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About Pyrelle

I am married to a wonderful woman. I enjoy video games and have been playing MMO and RPG based games for over 14 years. I enjoy writing and drawing, never considered myself good at it either. Dispite having a degree in graphic design I have never used it.
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17 Responses to T.G.I.Fredas…or not

  1. I love that last picture. He looks so sullen.

    • Pyrelle says:

      I would too if I had to listen to the same two songs badly sung for days on end. Honestly I am surprised Thoring hasn’t gone on a killing spree, he has had to deal with it for decades.

  2. Lori Fontan says:

    haha get that horsie! *makes kissie noises* herrreee horsie horsie horsie!

  3. 201bones says:

    i wonder if that dead troll was the troll kadraan heroicly fled in terror from and let the guards kill and disspose of? have you seen a khajiit wandering around dawnstar?

  4. kitdoctor says:

    Couple things: “The Last Tar Bender.” Also:
    “I buy some dinner and head to my room to eat and relax, well as much as a person can relax with a full blown bard concert going on outside his door.”
    Zander wishes he had a door.

    • Pyrelle says:

      Hehe, good to see you’re typing in small bursts. Zander wishes he had more than a door, I imagine ear plugs are on the top of the list.

      • kitdoctor says:

        Yeah, it’s not terribly bad yet, but I’m trying to avoid the long sessions. Ohh, idea: You should cast a Muffle spell on Karita.

      • Pyrelle says:

        That is a good idea, too bad Zander only knows a few spells he learned while in the arena which he can never seem to remember.

  5. exia021 says:

    Im very far from catching up but awesome every step of the way!

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