Something smelly this way comes!

Middas, 20th of Last Seed, 4E

I wake up refreshed after getting a good night sleep for the first time in days. I am ready to conquer the world, not really but I feel better than I have in a while. My stomach growls loudly, time for breakfast. Good news is I can actually afford one of Thorings’ over priced breakfasts. I had forgotten just how overpriced he was. I am only able to buy some bread. Unfortunately that doesn’t leave me with much gold left. Seems I need to get to work so I can afford to stay here another night.

No time to socialize this morning like I had hoped. I look at my bread and decide I should save it for later and head out the door. Skyrim greats me with its normal greeting, a blast of freezing cold wind right to the face. I wrap my cloak around me a little bit and head down the street.

Morning Beiltid…er I mean Boss.

I see Beitild and some co-workers and greet them. They all ignore me for some reason, all except Beitild. She tells me that friends like me are special to her. What the hell has gotten in to her? Weird, I just smile and nod and make my way to the mine. Since I don’t own a pickax I will retrieve the one I hid in the barrel.

I make my way down the mine shaft and I see Bodil, cute girl if she washed up once in a while. She doesn’t seem all that talkative today. I wonder if it was something I did. I mean yeah I kind of did throw up on her shoes yesterday, but that was an accident; it could have happened to anyone. She wanders off deeper into the mine and I am left to wonder. I walk up to the barrel and retrieve my borrowed pickax and make my way to my other co-worker, Gjak. He seems a bit off today.

You know if you used a pickax things might go better. Or you can just, you know ignore me….your call.

Gjak just looks at me and continues his work. I shrug and as I am about to swing my pickax he tells me not to bother. Apparently I cleared out the mine yesterday leaving no ore for anyone else. Well that explains why so many people are upset with me and Beitild likes me. I apologize profusely; Gjak says it is ok there will be more ore eventually. I guess I am out of a job for a while. Wait there is another mine!

I make my way out of the mine, putting the pickax back in the barrel before exiting. I sneak past Beitild; I don’t want her to know I am moon lighting at the other mine. I know my co-workers would understand. Beitild on the other hand would probably try to kill me or something.

I make my way down the road and past the blacksmith shop. I give a wave to Seren as I pass by; I don’t think she saw me she was having an argument with her husband again. I make my way to the smelter where I meet a very peculiar man. I say he is peculiar because it is freezing out here and he doesn’t wear a shirt. I introduce myself and he tells me his name is Lond and he works the Smelter. Well that explains why he is shirtless… no it really doesn’t.

I’m sorry did you say something? I was distracted by your lack of shirt in sub-zero weather.

I talk to Lond a bit and he tells me he has been working at the Quicksilver Mine for a long time. Loyalty is good and all but he will die if he doesn’t get a shirt on. I ask if the foreman of the Quicksilver mine is around he tells me to turn around.

I go to introduce myself to the man and he starts in on the Iron-Breaker Mine, calling them milk drinkers. Funny I always grew up thinking milk was good for you. He tells me his mine is better than Iron-Breaker. To be honest I kind of tune him out. Once I notice some silence I ask about a job. He tells me his name is Leigelf and he will buy any quicksilver I get. So I am guessing that I have a job? Hurray I am employed once more!

Meet Leigelf, my new boss. Don’t drink milk around him, he has issues with that.

I happily stroll into the Quicksilver Mine, completely forgetting to ask if he had a pickax I could borrow.

I get into the mine and meander down a long tunnel. I come to the end of the tunnel and I am taken a back. This mine is huge; it has rafters and walk ways everywhere. I don’t see any pickaxes though. I continue up the path and walk to a sitting area and see a pickax. I yell out and ask if anyone would mind if I used it. No answer, guess that’s an all clear sign. I pick up the pickax and get to work.

While I work I can’t help but realize this is almost how I started my day yesterday. I just hope I don’t ruin someone else’s shoes. I might get a reputation if that happened. I try to get my bearings for the place but it has so many twists and turns I get lost easily. I finally find a good chunk of rock to work on, next to my cute new co-worker, and I start digging.

I could think of worse things to look at while workin in a mine.

I dig for a few hours and before I know it, it is lunch time. I find a table with a lot of food on it, and no one is around. I guess Leigelf puts out a nice spread to keep his miners happy.  That is a whole lot better than what  Beitild has done for her employees. I think I like working for Leigelf more, he is less insulting at the very least. Though there was that milk drinker comment, but with a spread like this I think I can forgive him.

Gave me a job and food! Best boss ever!

My mouth waters just looking at all the delicious food; I wonder if anyone would mind me taking some with me for later. I look around and everyone else is eating something they brought with them. I guess this is mine. Though I feel bad if I take everything; I should probably leave some for the rest of the crew. I don’t want them to think badly of me I just started working here.

I eat some of the food and leave the rest for the crew; I do however slip the ale into my bag for later. While I eat I take inventory of what I have managed to mine so far. Ten quicksilver so far, not too shabby. I finish my food and continue to dig for a few more hours but I only manage to dig up four more ore. I hope this will do, all the ore seems to have been depleted. If this isn’t enough I don’t know what I will do since I managed to mine all the ore out of both mines in two days there won’t be anymore for a while.

I begin to make my way out of the mine when I realize I still have the pickax. I go to put it back and find a cart that has more pickaxes in it. No wonder no one cared if I borrowed it. There are enough pickaxes down here to supply a small Dwemer army. I put the pickax with the rest of them and make my way out of the mine. Before I could reach the exit I get stopped by Fruki, she says I dropped my pickax and hands it back to me. I try to explain to her it isn’t mine but she won’t hear of it.

I look at the pickax and wonder if I should keep it; I decide against it because even though Fruki insists I keep it, it would still be stealing. I devise a plan to secretly leave the pickax in a hidden, dark, little alcove and run for the exit before anyone can give it back to me.

I make it back outside and again Skyrim reminds me that it hates me with a giant gust of snowy wind to the face. I wipe the snow from my face and make my way to the smelter to get paid. I approach Leigelf and I over hear him talking to Lond about Beitild, and how he regrets marrying her. Wait Beitild and Leigelf are married…to each other….do they know that?

I stand there half puzzled and half shocked. You would think they would be happy, I mean they both do have successful mines that make loads of money for them. I can’t help but wonder why they hate each other. Oh well, I am not a marriage counselor, they will have to work things out for themselves. I just hope one of them doesn’t do anything too rash, like kill the other one. Nah that is just a silly thing to think.

I walk over to Leigelf and give him the fourteen quicksilver I mined and he hands me a pouch full, three hundred fifty gold pieces. Wow! Working for Leigelf sure pays off, too bad there is nothing more to mine for a while or I would hustle back in there. This is great, I have enough money to rent the room for another night and buy some groceries. I might even have enough to buy some supplies I need in order to make a camping set.

I look up into the sky and check the position of the sun. It is still relatively early, only about 2 pm or so, I could get over to the blacksmiths shop and see about purchasing the goods I need. I make my way over to Rustliefs’ shop, and check his wares. I had forgotten just how expensive his wares were. I can afford to buy some of the items I need but not all of them. I debate a few moments on whether or not I should buy from him or just wait.

After a long moment of inner contemplation I decide to wait. Rustlief is just too expensive, and besides I bet if I went out and hunted for a bit I could get the stuff I need. Granted it won’t be easy since I don’t have a bow, or arrows, or you know the basic knowledge on how to hunt. But how hard could it be really? People have been hunting since the beginning of time, if they could do it so could I. Lucky for me I happen to have salvaged some hunting attire. You know since it is only a few hours past mid day I could try to go hunting today.

I have a lot to think about on the way back to the Windpeak Inn. Seren makes a comment about being tired as I am about to leave the shop. I know the feeling all to well Seren. I make my way up the hill to the Inn, debating on whether or not to go out hunting today. I pass the chicken coop and see Abelone chopping wood. I think she works for Thoring but I have never bothered to check.

Thinking about it, I wonder if I could do some chores or something for Thoring. It’s an option to keep open in case the only thing I manage to catch is a cold. I walk into the Inn and Karita is warming up her lute; that strange robe wearing person is still here. There has to be a reason he is always here, he can’t just be a groupie for Karita, then again he just might be.

I walk up to the man; he greets me and tells me his name is Erandur, he proceeds by telling me the whole town is being plagued by nightmares. Well duh, I knew that; it is all anyone is freaking talking about. He goes on to say he believes they are in serious danger. From dreams? I have had some pretty bad nightmares mister and I am just fine.

Before I could walk away from him, he tells me he is a priest of Mara and he believes the Daedric Lord Vaermina is behind the nightmares. Did you just say a Daedric Lord…alrighty then…bye. What? You want my help fixing this?? What do I look like, some dream walking super hero?

Look man I am no Knight of the Nine. Go push your crazy on someone else. Better yet go talk to that Dragonborn fellow that Karita is always singing about. {Oddly enough Karita was singing Dragonborn Comes during this conversation.}

You want me to go where and do what?….Good luck with that!

I walk away and I guess he got offended because he left in a bit of a huff. Maybe I was a bit rude to him but to be honest he did sound a bit crazy. I walk to my room and have a seat, I still haven’t decided if I should go hunting this afternoon or not.  I think I will just go out and scout for now, get the lay of the land, I don’t want to be caught away from town when it gets dark. If that happens I may end up a frozen Zander pop.

I change into my fur armor and neatly fold my cloths and put them in the drawer. I just hope Thoring doesn’t rent out my room while I am away. Well I do need some provisions so I will just rent the room again before I leave. I talk to Thoring and refill my water and let him know I am going scouting and I would like to rent the room again before I leave. He just chuckles and tells me the room is mine but to pay him when I return. It sounds fishy to me but whatever, time to head out into the wild.

The Imperials New Cloths. 100% less nudity!

I get outside and Abelone tells me I should head back inside the Windpeak Inn, does she know something I don’t? No time to chat to find out; I can tell from the position of the sun I only have about an hour or two of sunlight left. I make my way out of the town, the wind is picking up, making it harder to see. So much for a scouting effort; I can barely see in front of my face. I suppose Abelone did know something I didn’t, I wish she would have just said “Hey there’s a blizzard coming, get back inside.” that would have been helpful. I continue on for a little while longer, regretting not going back with every step I take.

I spy with my little eye something that starts with “S”…Is it snow? Of course its snow what else would it be! I suck at scouting.

I can see three people in the distance. I wonder what they are doing out here in a blizzard, then again who am I to ask that question. They are walking my way. They are dressed in what seems to be Imperial Legion attire.

Their leader runs up to me. What the hell did I do now? He comes up to me and tells me I am on imperial land or something and I have to pay a fine. I didn’t see any signs out here, then again I could have missed them. His buddies catch up and it looks like they are trying to flank me for some reason. Something doesn’t smell right here, and it isn‘t just the smell coming from that orc.

I look past the Soldier and see three dead bodies in the snow, huh…oh crap. The Orc in Imperial Officer Clothing tells me to pay up, one hundred gold. I knew I should have stayed at the Inn, things were going too smoothly. I just had to come out scouting, now it seems if I don’t cough up one hundred gold I am as good as dead. Maybe I can reason with him, explain everything that has happened.

I try to explain my situation; he seems to care less than zero and proceeds to tell me if I don’t pay up ill pay in blood. Well that’s just peachy, thanks Skyrim, I was starting to think you liked me. Oh crap that’s a huge arse hammer! And it is coming right at my head!

I dodge the orcs first swing but his butt buddy has gotten behind me and is pummeling my ribs with his huge war hammer. I try to run but they are fast and keep staggering me. Crap crap crappity crap crap! Screw it! If I am gonna die, I am gonna take one of these ass monkeys with me.

I run in circles around them barely dodging their attacks. I notice the mage  off in the distance trying to hit me with spells. If I remember anything from my days in the arena it is that mages are squishy. I just have to get close enough to her and splat, mage kabob for everyone. I charge at her, unleashing hell on this woman; all the while trying my best to avoid dumb and dumber.I place my blade in her chest and kill her.

One down two to go. The orc rushes me and I dodge his lumbering massively slow attack. I get hit by his friend though. I turn and gauge my opponent. Its an elf, since when do elves use two handed weapons? Especially Altmer, I thought they all preferred to be squishies. Oh well, sucks to be him, time to die elf boy!

I engage the Altmer; hitting him multiple times for every one swing of his war hammer. I guess he never learned that if you have noodle arms don’t use heavy weapons, or how to block for that matter. Too late to learn now though; I circle around him while he tries to recover from one of his missed swings and cut him down.

One on one Mr. Orc; any last words? Apparently he had plenty to say, pretty insulting stuff too; I’ll admit it stings a little. We trade blows, I could retreat now but they pissed me off, they killed three people, stole their cloths left them naked in the snow, tried to con me with a crappy story, not to mention trying to kill me. Nope, I am either going to win this fight and live to tell the tale or die in a horribly fantastic fashion.

I  swing wildly, he blocks and staggers me a bit, I manage to dodge his attack somehow. Back and forth we go.

Swing and a miss. Seriously who taught you how to fight? That Elf?

After a while I could tell he is running on fumes,  it is just too bad I am too. If I am going to survive this I need a brilliant strategy to win the day. Got it! Get in close so it’s harder for him to hit me, it’s brilliant I tell you, brilliant I say.

There is nothing between us except air, some dead bodies and yellow snow. Let’s do this thing!

I charge in swinging wildly, he keeps blocking but I finally break his defense, and before I know what has happened I see his body flying to the ground.

You ruined your own lands! You’ll not ruin mine!

I stand there in shock. D…Did I … did I just….win?


What a rush, I had forgotten how exhilarating fighting was, though I really don‘t want to do that again. I look down at my fallen enemies, and a trail of yellow snow I have left, then over to the Imperial Soldiers they had killed. Granted I have no love loss for the Imperial Soldiers but they deserve better. I strip the villains of their ill gotten gains. You do not deserve to wear this armor, of course neither do I but that is not the point.

My hands are numb and I can feel it getting colder. I should try to bury the soldiers but if I do not start heading back I will be trapped out here. I will inform the authorities of what happened, with any luck they will find them and be able to give them a proper send off. I say a small service for the fallen soldiers and begin my trek back to town. As I trudge through the snow I count my blessings I was able to come away from that alive.

I trudge back slowly, I am injured and the cold isn‘t helping the situation. I was lucky this time but next time that might not be the case. I should invest in some healing potions or something just in case. I can see the road up a head; I should be able to make it back to town before night fully sets in.

I get into town and I stop a guard to tell him about what has happened. He doesn’t seem to care too much; he just tells me I should get some better armor and weapons. Easy for you to say, you have a government job…….dick.

I walk into the Inn and go straight into my room. I need to clean myself up a bit before i do anything else. I finish cleaning up and I am feeling a bit hungry, so I sit down and eat the food I got from working in the mine today and wash it down with ale. My bag is heavy, I should really take inventory of what I got off those imposter Imperial Soldiers, but I will let that wait till the morning. I suppose I could sell this stuff. I don’t know I feel like I robbed those guys, even though they did start the fight, and its not like the real Imperial Soldiers will mind, they might even want me to have this stuff, you know for avenging them; argh I am so conflicted. Screw it, Ill decide in the morning, for now I just want to relax in front of the fire and listen to some horrible music.

Nothing says victory than an open flame, frozen fingers and lousy music.

I don’t know why, but after everything that has happened, I feel stronger, like I can carry more burdens. Who knows maybe it is all in my head. It is late and I am tired, I should talk to Thoring about getting my room re-rented. I have a lot of decisions to make tomorrow, I should get my beauty rest, and the nine know I need it.

Thoring insists on showing me to my room, even though I know where it is. He asks if I need anything and I mention to him I might be looking for some employment, he tells me he might need some fire wood. Well that’s good, I know how to chop things that’s for sure. I climb into bed, fall is a better term, and reflect on the days events. It certainly was eventful, I am going to need to come up with some sort of plan, I’ll dream on it and get back to it in the morning I am just too tired to think right now.

Good night Skyrim, better luck next time…


10 thoughts on “Something smelly this way comes!

    1. I was so close to death in that fight, was the most fun I have had in a game in a long time, also the most frightening, the entire time I was just repeating out loud,”Don’t die don’t die don’t die, please don’t die.”

      1. I’m telling you, mortality does wonders in making your game more fun. I’m actually considering doing it with other characters just to enhance the experience. New characters, though. My other two characters I couldn’t stand to lose.

      2. I know right. It is such a rush. Could you imagin playing a MMORPG with these rules, it would give a whole new meaning to the term EPIC.

  1. “Wait Beitild and Leigelf are married…to each other….do they know that?”
    “Crap crap crappity crap crap!”
    “Easy for you to say, you have a government job…….dick.”

    This was great! I love the dry way he says everything. I’m looking forward to reading more.

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